


Satisfaction

by jeritoodles



Category: Hollywood (TV 2020)
Genre: I mean it this time, Multi, Slow Burn, gay in the future, just trust me on this, they won’t get together for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeritoodles/pseuds/jeritoodles
Summary: come onnnnnn y’all know I’m bad at summarys... just read it! I promise you’ll like it. It’s Avis/Ellen
Relationships: Archie Coleman/Rock Hudson, Avis Amberg/Ellen Kincaid, Ellen Kincaid/Ernie West, Jack Castello/Claire Wood, Raymond Ainsley/Camille Washington
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lapriestlyyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapriestlyyy/gifts).



> WoOt you’re here! Congrats. Have a blast reading!

Frustration. Instead of pleasure and bliss it was frustration that coursed through Ellen Kincaid’s veins after just finishing morning sex with Earnie.  **No not finishing** **_I_ ** **didn’t finish.** **_He_ ** **did.** She rolled over and put on her robe, marching towards her wardrobe to get ready for work.  **What is it with him? Here lately he’s been acting strange. Always staying out late, not paying me any attention- except for when we have sex- and when we do, it’s not good. I don’t think he’s cheating, he can’t keep it up long enough. What happened to the smooth-talking, charismatic, Earnie I fell in love with? Now he’s acting like I’m one of his regulars at the station instead of his significant other.** She thought as she trifled through her wardrobe to find something red to wear to work. 

Every Thursday, ‘the gang’ consisting of Ellen, Avis, Claire, Jack, Archie, Raymond, Camille, Rock, Jeanne, and Henry would dress up in the same color. It was stupid but it made them look like a unified front, and it was kind of fun. This week's color was red. Ellen looked until she found a blood-red pants suit and matching heels. She rarely wore pantsuits but she didn’t have time to keep looking or she was going to be late. **Pantsuit it is.** **This pantsuit brings back memories. One in particular that won’t be discussed today.**

She grumbled lowly to herself, rushing across the bedroom to her bathroom, putting in a protective cap, and hopping in the shower. With the warm water hitting her face, Ellen felt herself relax.  **How I wish the warm water were hands running themselves all over my body.** After being in the shower and washing herself up appropriately, she got out, the cold of the air hitting her body, not fazing her. She got dressed and applied makeup, before rushing out of the house to get to the studio on time.  **Bastard didn’t even say goodbye.**

—————— 

Loneliness. Waking up in the big, cold, empty bed was something Avis had grown used to. She hated it. She hated being alone. She wanted someone to roll over to in the morning and have hot sex with before she had to go into the studio.  I miss having someone here to love. 

She sat up and looked at the clock against the wall and realized she had woken up late.  Oh shit! Why didn’t Gertie wake me!?

She flung herself out of the bed running around in search of all of her supplies she needed to get ready for a Thursday at the studio. She couldn’t for the life of her remember what this week's color for ‘the gang’ was until Claire knocked on the door and peeked her head in, alerting her mother that Jack and her were about to leave.  She has a red hair clip. Red. Okay.  She quickly went to her walk-in closet that had been arranged neatly into color order, and dove for the red section.  Skirt suit? No... I wore one yesterday. Pantsuit? No... I wore that for blue last Thursday. The only other option is dress. I only have this blood-red dress that I had made specifically to match with Ellen’s pantsuit for a women’s luncheon we went to a few years ago. That was a crazy day... and a crazy nig- no... we swore we would forget it ever happened. I wonder if she even still has that outfit. YOU DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS AVIS!! She grabbed the dress and went into the bathroom, preparing herself for the shower. I would love to take a nice, warm bath then maybe I could _ take care of my needs  _ but I woke up too damn late.

She showered quickly, getting dressed and her makeup applied even quicker and dashing out of the front door on her way to the studio. 

———————- 

“Morning, Avis.” Ellen chided, walking into the red-headed woman’s office, glancing over files in her hands.  She’s wearing the suit! I didn’t think she even had it still! 

“Morning, Ellen.” Avis answered,standing up behind her desk, gawking at the woman standing in the office. Avis had never had a problem admitting that other women were stunning and very attractive.  I’m not gay. I like men, I just don’t see the harm in admiring another woman’s beauty. And she was most definitely admiring Ellen’s.  That woman can wear the HELL of a pantsuit and she looks damn good in red. She has legs for days and the way her blazer is tailored to fit the curves of her torso... she’s stunning. 

Ellen looked up from her files at the greeting she received back from the shorter woman. A surprised look washing over her features.  **Is Avis wearing the dress that she made to match my suit? She is! I haven’t seen her wear the dress since the luncheon so I assumed she didn’t have it anymore. I didn’t even think about that this morning! Funny coincidence. I almost forgot how good she looked in it. How could I though? She made me feel so self conscious standing next to her at that luncheon so many years ago. All the other women’s eyes were on her. The way the dress fit tightly to every curve and the color against her skin matched perfectly with stilettos, could make anyone grovel at her feet.** The two drooled over each other for a few more moments before Ellen finally broke the silence. 

“I was coming by to ask you to lunch this afternoon to discuss casting Archie and Ray’s new movie.” Ellen announced walking a little further into the office, stopping just a few inches short of Avis’s desk. 

“A-Absolutely.” Avis stammered a bit, still caught up on how great the blonde looked. Avis offers Ellen a smile and the taller woman shoots one right back at her. 

“Okay. I’ll meet you here at 12:30?” Ellen confirmed. Her eyes betrayed her and looked at the woman behind the desk up and down.  **Mercy! I forgot the dress was low cut in the front as well! Why am I gawking at Avis all of a sudden? What is wrong with me? Nothing. Nothing. She looks phenomenal and I should be able to acknowledge that. Maybe I’m just horny from this morning. At this point I’d fuck anything that breathes for a release.**

“Absolutely. I see you still have your pantsuit.” Avis answered, walking out from behind the desk. 

“I do. I forgot I still had it until I found it this morning. I see you still have your dress.” Ellen said, playfully pulling at the fabric of said dress at Avis’ side, causing both of them to laugh slightly. 

“That was some luncheon. All those ladies looking at us like we were strange. Snooty bitches.” Avis reminded.  They weren’t looking at me, they were looking at Ellen, she looked just as stunning then as she does now.

“Do remember when those ladies at our table asked us if we were dating?” Ellen asked laughing a little louder.  **She can always make me forget about having a shitty day.**

“They asked like it was some scandalous thing too! We were at an ALL WOMEN'S luncheon... did they not think there were not going to be lesbians in attendance?” 

“Ridiculous.” Ellen rolled her eyes, her laughter subsiding gradually.  **I now know why this woman is my best friend.**

“We did look like one badass power couple though. If I was on the outside looking in I would’ve assumed as well.” Avis noted gesturing between them, referring to their outfits. Ellen just nodded in agreement. **I love seeing couples match. Why can’t Earnie and I never do that? And... just like that you ruined your own moment again, Ellen.**

“What’s the matter?” Avis’ soft voice pulled Ellen out of her thoughts.  Too far?

“I’m not even going to lie to you, Ave. I’m frustrated.” Ellen admitted, throwing up her hands in defeat and leaning against the front of the desk. 

“I understand... our jobs are very frustrating sometimes-“ 

“No no. The job is fine. I’m sexually frustrated. Earnie and I had sex this morning and it was terrible! I didn’t even cum! He was done before we even got started good.” Ellen explained pacing back and forth in front of the short ginger.  Been there done that with Earnie.

“Shame. Did you take care of it? You know, on your own?” Avis asked going back to fiddling with things on her desk, giving Ellen a great view of her ass.  **Oh shit. Ellen, where the hell is all of this coming from?**

“What do you mean?” Ellen questioned. 

“Did you finish yourself off?” Avis tried again, not wanting to be crude and come out and say it. 

“Oh! No. I didn’t have the time. I don’t do that kind of thing anyways.” Ellen confessed.  She doesn’t pleasure herself? Wow. I couldn’t do it.

“So if Earnie doesn’t do it, you just go unfulfilled?” Avis dug a little deeper. Ellen continued to watch Avis piddle around in her desk, her ass shaking slightly as she moved her upper body from side to side trying to reach different things on the desk.  **This is kind of personal. I mean, it’s not unlike many of the things we’ve talked about before, but I’m never the topic of this discussion.**

“Exactly. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I just have never done it before.”  She’s got to be joking. Avis’ moments came to a halt from the shock.

“Not even when you were a teenager?” Avis was intrigued, and highly confused. 

“Never.” 

“Wow. Okay. You really should try it sometimes. It brings great  _ satisfaction _ .” Avis continued to shuffle with things on her desk, bending over it completely to reach the drawer on the other side. Her dress rode up her thighs, giving Ellen a view of her best friends garters attached to her stockings.  **Wow. After this view I may have to try catering to myself and my needs. I just don’t understand why my needs are becoming stronger looking at Avis like this. Well, Ellen, that afternoon after the luncheon- no. We swore to forget about it. Forget. It.**

“I may just have to. Anyways, I’ll pick you up for lunch at 12:30. I’ve got to go meet with Henry about the budget.” Ellen announced quickly, darting out of the room, praying that she looked as normal as she could.  That was odd. I’ll ask her about it later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee it’s short but 🤷🏾♀️

Avis set to work quickly, having scripts that needed to be read before the next day, financial budgets for newly green-lit movies to establish, and a few documents that had to be signed. Since Richard died, her and Ellen has taken on all of his work.  I don’t even know if I’m doing all of this right. I don’t know how the man ever did it. Well, Richard just... he was the perfect man for the job. I miss him. So much. Avis let out a shuddered breath, wiping her eyes before any tears fell to avoid messing up her makeup. If he was here, he’d give me a hug and kiss my temple, assuring me that I’m doing a great job. I think that’s what I need most of all is just a hug. Someone’s arms around me, holding me close. 

“Ave, you alright?”  Holy shit! Avis wasn’t aware of Ellen coming into her office and almost jumped out of her skin. **Why is she crying**?  Avis wiped her tears quickly grabbing her purse and fumbling around for her makeup. 

“Yes. I’m fine. What are you doing here?” Avis asked retouching her makeup where the tears had left streaks in it. 

“I’m here to pick you up for lunch. It’s 12:30.” Ellen told her checking her watch.  Oh I completely lost track of time. Avis looked up at the blonde, ready to express her apologies for forgetting, but fell silent seeing the taller woman standing before her with her blazer unbuttoned to reveal a ruby-red silk camisole that matched Avis’ shoes. It clung to the older woman’s figure perfectly and made the red-head’s breath hitch in her throat.  What the hell, Avis? What has gotten into you? Are you that desperate that you get aroused at the sight of your best friend? To be fair, your best friend is very much attractive. AVIS FOCUS! 

**Why is she staring at me like that? It’s almost like she’s gawking at me. It’s almost flattering. Her eyes big as the moon, lips parted ever so slightly- Ellen! Get yourself together! Maybe I need to talk to Earnie later about our situation. I can’t go on like this. It’s gotten so bad that I’m ogling the closest friend I have.**

“Avis? Are you sure you’re okay? What where you crying about before I came in?” Ellen questioned pulling the shorter woman out of her trance. 

“Richard. I miss him.” Avis answered truthfully, standing up and gathering her things to head to lunch with Ellen. 

“I miss him too. He would be proud of us, you know?” Ellen pointed out as the two started to exit the office. They got outside the doors and saw Jack, Claire, and Archie standing my the elevators, all of them in red head to toe. 

“Hey, what are you all doing up here?” Avis faked a smile as her and Ellen approached the young adults. 

“We came to get you all for lunch. Everyone is else is already downstairs.” Claire announced, gesturing towards the floor.  Oh yeah! I’m all over the place. I forget we eat with each other on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. We’re so fucking corny. Neither Avis nor Ellen responded and just followed the 3 down to the rest of the group. 

“Oh shit!” Henry said, a wolf whistle following the statement as he saw Ellen and Avis enter the room.  **Oh of course Henry is going to say something about us matching.**

“Shut the fuck up, Henry.” Avis shut him down immediately as the approached thetable, sitting down and settling themselves to eat.  I’m not in the mood for Henry’s shit today. 

“You all look amazing.” Jeanne complemented, pausing looking at the menu to gaze at the two. 

“Thank you, Jeanne.” Ellen thanked, picking up a menu of her own. 

“You all look like one of those lesbian power couples you see in like underground gay bars. The ones that just scream ‘don’t fuck with us’, you know?” Camille said, her face lit up with amazement.  **She’s so young... it’s cute to see them before life smacks them in the face.**

“We got that a lot the last time we wore this.” Avis snorted.  All though... those bitches at the luncheon weren’t complementing us. Stuck-up assholes. 

“You know... the more I think about it, you two would make a pretty powerful couple.”Archie pointed out, leaning forward and lacing his fingers.  **I could see - what the fuck?! Ellen! No!**

You know we actually wouldn’t make a bad - AVIS WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?! 

“But we aren’t... and we won’t be. So can we order lunch? Because I’m starving!” Avis answered as nicely as she could, becoming irritated. They all mumbled in agreeance moving the subject along, and enjoying their lunch together. 

** What would us being a couple look like?  **


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t sleep... so here.

Avis was quiet. Something no one would ever believe if they had ever met the woman before. Even when she was alone, she would mumble her thoughts out loud to herself, but now she was quiet. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. 

Why? 

She lay in her bed in complete silence, her naked body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. A few curls had fallen from her night-scarf and stuck to her forehead, and her mouth was dry from it being open for so long. 

What the hell did I just do? 

She had come home that evening, exhausted from the work day and frazzled because of Ellen and her damned pantsuit, bringing back all the memories she tried to push to the back of her mind. As she sat and undressed herself, she had remembered little details about the luncheon and what had happened afterwards. It made her hot all over, causing her to undress herself quickly. The heat that pooled in between her legs spread like wildfire through her veins until her whole body was pulsing with need. 

I can’t believe... 

She had done it. She had pleasured herself to the thought of the closest friend she had. The blonde woman’s image in the red pantsuit plagued her thoughts as she drew closer and closer to her release. So she lay there in shock. 

Why did I do that? 

She couldn’t understand. She put her thoughts on pause as she moved to the bathroom to clean herself up. She looked herself in the mirror as she wet a washcloth to clean the effects of her pleasure from her inner thighs, still in awe of what she had brought herself to do. She cleaned herself and redressed in an old nightgown, settling herself on the other side of the bed. 

Something is wrong with me. I just finger-fucked myself to the image of my best friend in a damned pantsuit! I’ve never thought of Ellen in that manner. Well- the luncheon- no Avis, that doesn’t count! You both had had a little too much to drink that afternoon, and I was fighting with Ace, and her husband had just been in that accident with the streetcar... 

She shifted uncomfortably in the bed to lay on her side, her mind still racing a thousand miles an hour. 

Avis this isn’t the first time you’ve done this while thinking of a woman. Maybe I’m more into women than I thought. No. I can’t be. I like dick too much. There’s nothing wrong with thinking another woman is attractive. I’ve never slept with a woman and don’t plan on it. I just find some women sexy. Doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or anything. Right? ... right? 

Avis grumbled shifting again. She wanted to sleep more than anything because she was exhausted but her thoughts prevented her from doing so. 

Avis you are too damn old to be questioning your sexuality! I like men. I like what men have between their legs. I don’t like women. I’m straight. As a ruler. It’s okay for women to think other women are attractive. It doesn’t mean anything. What I just did means nothing. 

She tried to convince herself that she was right and when her exhaustion hit her, she fell asleep. 

——————- 

Ellen was annoyed. Pissed off even. When she came home from the studio, she had planned on talking to Earnie about their relationship. She needed to fix whatever rift that was coming between her and Earnie to reassure herself that whatever things she was feeling about Avis were because she was desperate. Not because she had actual feelings for the red-head. 

**That didn’t go as planned.**

So there she was lying beneath Earnie, still very unsatisfied, as he caught his breath. When she had tried to address the issues with Earnie that they were facing, he had fronted, saying that he was a little off his game and that he was going to “rock her world” before bedding her, and still not satisfying her. She didn’t feel like another go-round with him, so she faked her orgasm as usual. 

“Get up. I’m going to go take a bath.” She ordered tapping his shoulders, lightly. He gave a grunt removing himself from her and rolled over, sending himself into a small coughing spell, before lighting a cigarette. 

“You know, you’re not helping your condition by continuing to smoke those damned things.” Ellen pointed out, her frustration apparent in her tone of voice, as she gathered her things for a bath. 

“El, sweetheart, relax. I’ll be fine.” He answered smoothly, taking another drag of his ‘cancer stick’ as Ellen liked to call it sometimes. Ellen rolled her eyes and made her way to the bathroom, filling the tub, and preparing to get in the bath. 

**Here goes nothing, Ellen. It can’t be hard. I’ve heard Avis talk about it before. She says it’s just doing to yourself what you want a man to do to you, but using your fingers to do it.**

She lowered herself into the tub and basked in the warmth of the water that her body was enclosed in. 

**Okay, now, what do I like for men to do to me. Um, I usually like them too... touch my breasts.** Ellen brought her hands out of the water and looked at them for a moment before placing them on her breasts. She positioned her hands to cup her breasts lightly and let out a small sigh. She squeezed gently a few times, before sliding one hand down the front of her body.  **I like for men to touch and rub my thighs sometimes.** She kept one hand toying with her breasts and let the other hand travel lower, rubbing along her thighs.  **That feels nice. I don’t think I’m doing this right. Maybe I should call and ask Avis.** She pulled her hands from her body before preparing herself to get out of the tub.  **No! No, Ellen. You are a grown woman. Besides she’s probably not on that side of the bed. That was always Ace’s side of the bed that the phone was on. It’d be too much to call her and have her bent all over the bed... kinda like she was this morning.** At that thought she settled back into the tub, her hands going back to where they were.  **Her ass all in the air, her nightgown riding up her thighs like her dress did. She did look a sight this morning. In that dress... and only Avis would have her undergarments and garters matching her outer clothes even though no one was going to see them.** Ellen has stopped paying attention to what her hands were doing and gasped when the one that was caressing her thighs had dipped between them, her fingers brushing across her sex lightly. She let her fingers explore herself, finding her clit and stimulating it slightly.  **She always looks so good in red. Deep reds. She’s always meticulous about her appearance. Her dress or suit of choice always has matching undergarments. Her lipstick shade- if not her signature Victory Red- always complements her clothing and skin color. Her hair neatly pinned up into the latest fashion with a hat to top it off. Her gloves are always clean and crisp, and her shoes are never below 4 inches high. The way she carries herself...**

“Oh shit...” she mutters, her head lulling back, hitting the wall slightly as pleasure courses through her body. She doesn’t think twice before sliding two fingers into herself, her mind forgetting everything but the image of the short redhead. 

**She’s utterly stunning. Always. A big flirt too. I’m sure she means well but sometimes she can bring a blush to even my cheeks. It’s not like she means to do it. She’s just like that naturally. Her stares, her smile, and those winks! You would have to be made of steel to not be even the slightest bit affected by her winks.** Ellen was pumping her fingers rapidly now, the sloshing of the water around her falling deaf on her ears. She was so close, her mind filling itself with more images of Avis, her fingers moving at an even faster pace until she saw stars and her climax ripped through her so hard she couldn’t make a sound. Her head went fuzzy and her movements slowed. 

**Holy fuck. I needed that. I- I should do that more often.**

“El? Hurry up and come back to bed.” Earnie spoke through the door, sending reality crashing back down on the blonde. She then realized that she had just gotten herself off for the first time thinking about Avis. 

**Oh shit** . 

Guilt settled in her chest as confusion did the same in her head. She quickly washed herself and got out of the tub, making her way back to bed with Earnie. As she drifted to sleep one thought replayed in her head the entire time. 

**Why was I thinking about Avis?**

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !

A warm body, molded to the shape of hers with long elegant arms wrapped around her torso and soft, short, rhythmic breaths against her neck is what Avis had woken up to.  Well, I did say I wanted someone to wake up next to.  Avis lay still in the bed, not wanting to disturb the blonde who was wrapped so tightly around her.  Why did I agree to this? 

After the night the two of them got off to each other they had drifted apart significantly. When they talked it was about the studio and eye contact was a no-go. Neither of them knew that the other had done what they did but Ellen felt so embarrassed that she would’ve avoided Avis completely if she could have and Avis was the same way. After weeks of them ignoring each other as much as they could, Ellen couldn’t take it anymore. She had missed Avis and she needed a favor to ask of the short red head. 

Avis was sitting in her office when Ellen came in and asked Avis to join her in her trip back home for a relative’s wedding. Ellen didn’t want to go alone and Earnie had multiple doctors visits scheduled for the week that Ellen was to be gone. Being a good friend, Avis obliged, so there she was in the guest bedroom of Ellen’s sister’s home, curled under the covers with the taller woman. 

How did we even end up like this? Avis had wanted to get a hotel but Ellen’s sister had insisted that they stay at her house. The guest bedroom had one queen size bed and one small chair in it. Avis had first suggested that she herself slept in the chair and Ellen sleep in the bed, but Ellen insisted that they would be fine sleeping in the same bed together. They had scooted themselves to the edges of the bed and had even turned their backs to each other, but they were now in the middle of the bed, Ellen’s tall and slender form bending around Avis’s short, curvy one. 

Lying here in her arms does feel kind of nice. She’s very warm and comfortable. I could get used - no. No way, Avis. This can not be happening. You suppressed all those weird feelings a long time ago. Do NOT let them resurface. You are straight. As a ruler. Avis took a deep breath and turned ever so slightly onto her other side, facing Ellen.  Wrong move. Ellen felt her moving and in her sleep, tugged the woman closer to her, bringing Avis face to face with the blonde. She was so close that her nose slightly brushed Ellen’s as their legs tangled together under the covers. 

She’s so beautiful. I don’t understand why on Earth she wears makeup. It’s not like she needs it. Sure, she’s got wrinkles here and there but... they’re beautiful. She aged so gracefully. Avis closed her eyes for a moment and nuzzled her nose with Ellen’s.  Avis what the hell are you doing? I’m so confused. One minute I’m sure I’m completely straight the next minute I’m melting over my best friend’s face. This is wrong... but why do I like it so much? Why am I enjoying being held like this? Why is my stomach turning flips? Why do I want to kiss her so badly? Before Avis could think another thought, she pressed her lips against Ellen’s. 

**Earnie never kisses me in the morning. These aren’t Earnie’s lips. They’re soft... warm... feminine.** Ellen doesn’t open her eyes to see who’s kissing her, she just kissed back.  Oh fuck I woke her up! But Avis didn’t pull away. She couldn’t bring herself to. The way Ellen’s lips danced with hers was too good to let up on. She wrapped her arms around Ellen and pulled her impossibly closer.  Why do I like this so much? 

**Think, Ellen who could this be? Where are you? I left yesterday for... my niece’s wedding... AVIS!** Ellen’s eyes flew open in the kiss and immediately closed, seeing the redhead.  **Why am I kissing Avis? Why am I enjoying it so much? Earnie never kisses me like this, let alone wakes me up with a kiss.**

“El? Avis? Breakfast is ready when you all are!” Ellen’s sister, Martha, announced knocking on the door. It was like cold water was being thrown on the two because their eyes shot open and pulled apart, scrambling to either side of the bed. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Avis what the fuck did you just do?! 

**Ellen what the HELL has gotten into you!?**

The two stood up and looked at each other for a moment. Avis swallowed thickly, wiping her hands down the front of her gown. Ellen rubbed her eyes and shook her head. 

“We’re not going to talk about that.” Avis said, standing as still as a statue and looking the taller woman in her eyes.  Her beautiful blue eyes... AVIS! Well, I’ve always had a thing for blue eyed men... MEN not women. I. Like. Men. 

“Talk about what? As far as I’m concerned we just woke up.” Ellen stammered, walking around the bed while putting on her robe, passing the redhead and leaving the room.  **Ellen get a grip. Pull yourself together. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before.**

The two of them had kissed before. It was after the luncheon. Avis was pissed off at Ace and didn’t want to go home, and Ellen was newly widowed so they went out for drinks. They figured since they were already getting threatening stares from people assuming they were in a relationship from their matching outfits, that they go for drinks at an underground bar where a lot of gays and lesbians went. 

When they got there, after having too many martinis to count, they went on the dance floor and started dancing together. Neither of them thinking clearly due to the amount of alcohol in their systems. A slow song started playing and Avis mindlessly drifted into Ellen’s arms. Right when the song was coming to an end, Avis looked up at Ellen, her brown eyes meeting Ellen’s blue ones for a spilt second before their lips met in the softest kiss. 

**Best kiss I’ve ever had.**

As soon as it began, it was over. Avis pulled away in horror of what she had just done. Telling Ellen that they were to forget it happened and never speak of it again. 

“Good Morning El, you alright?” Martha asked her sister, setting down a plate of food in front of where the blonde assumed she was to sit. 

“Morning, M. I’m fine.” Ellen lied quickly, sitting down where the plate was.  **I’m not fine. How could she do that? After all these years! We never even acknowledged what happened. I was confused and hurting for a long time after that night. I went through a whole 2 years of questioning my sexuality because I enjoyed being kissed by Avis. Now all of these feelings are resurfacing and she doesn’t even want to talk about it.**

Avis WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? You can’t blame this time on alcohol. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. I just did it. This can’t be happening. Not again! Avis why can’t you just admit to yourself that you feel something for her. Deep down you know that you do! No. No I can’t. I- I like men. I can’t ever feel that way about a woman. 

“AVIS! BREAKFAST!” She heard Martha call. Avis threw on her robe and tried her best to act as if everything was fine, walking down to the dinning room with everyone else. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

“Avis, are you coming to the shopping center with me?” Ellen asked the redhead later on that afternoon after her niece’s bridal shower. They had barely said a word to each other for hours, and Ellen felt bad.  **I just want everything to go back to normal. Avis usually enjoys our trips to the shopping center together so if we go, maybe it’ll fix things. Maybe I can show her around the city while we’re out. Take her to the park or something.**

“Yeah, just let me grab my purse.” Avis answered looking dazed, lost in her own thoughts. 

“Might want to grab a jacket too, in case it rains.” Ellen suggested. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

——— 

“Can you believe that guy?” Ellen asked through laughs as her and Avis walked through the park. They had been to the shopping center and found nothing in particular they wanted to by so Ellen stuck to her earlier thoughts and showed Avis around the city where she had spent most of her life. She took Avis by the school she went to as a child and to the picture show she first fell in love with the film industry at. Now they were strolling side by side in Ellen’s favorite park, laughing at a man who stupidly tried to make a pass at Avis.

“He had the nerve to get upset that I told him no because he was missing his two front teeth!” Avis recalled making the pair laugh even harder. A loud roll of thunder interrupted their laugher and the rain that followed seconds later accompanied it.

“Told you to bring a jacket.” Ellen teased as raindrops fell on and around them. Avis just let out a whine and wrapped her arms around herself. 

“Who said you were right? I like being outside in the rain. Yes it messes up my hair and my clothes but I’ve always played outside in the rain.” She said, her tone of voice contradicting her words. Ellen laughed at her stubbornness and wrapped her arm around Avis’ waist. 

“You’re hard headed. When will you ever start listening to me?” Ellen asked guiding Avis towards the exit of the park.

“When you start being right.” Avis answered, sticking out her tongue at the taller woman. 

“Avis Amberg you are impossible.” Ellen said, stopping the two’s footsteps and turning to face the woman. 

“And you love me for it.” Avis shot back, not thinking about her words of choice. It caught them both off guard.

“Let’s just get back to the house. I don’t want you to get sick.” Ellen suggested taking the shorter woman’s hand and speed walking them out of the park. Avis felt her heartbeat quicken as she held Ellen’s wet but warm hand. Avis laced their fingers as they began to walk faster, progressing into a slight jog as it started to rain harder. Since the park was in walking distance of the house, Ellen and Avis hadn’t taken the car after returning from the shopping center so the two found themselves running in the rain hand and hand all the way back to the house. 

“I haven’t run in the rain like this since I was a teenager!” Avis said attempting to catch her breath aside from her laughter as she and Ellen arrived at the house on the porch. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Ellen responded sarcastically, turning around to address her but coming nose to nose with her. The both of them felt their breath hitch in their throats, maintaining eye contact. 

I want to kiss her again. I want to be sure that I really do have feelings for her before I go admitting something I don’t mean. I want to know it’s not just lust.  Avis’ eyes fluttered shut and moved in for a kiss but Ellen moved her head away and connected their wet foreheads instead. 

**No. I’m not letting her do that to me again. I’m not risking getting hurt. I can’t just let her toy with my emotions.**

“I think we should get inside.” Ellen suggested meekly and took Avis’ hand again, leading her into the house.


	5. Chapter 5

Avis Amberg did not take rejection well. It seemed like she did to others because she remained normal on the outside, but on the inside or when she was by herself, the tears would come and the loneliness settled in with her. Avis hated that she cried over Ellen not wanting to kiss her on the porch.  Why am I still upset?! It was a week ago!

Avis threw herself into her work as she always did when she was upset. Pulling long hours at the studio and barely sleeping. She practically lived at the studio, leaving when she had to go home and take a shower. She rarely slept, only taking short naps of the sofa of the office. She did everything she could to distract herself from the sting of rejection. 

Avis’ unhealthy habits were taking a toll on her body and she began to get sick. She pretended not to notice it but between the running in the rain with Ellen, not sleeping properly, and barely eating sickness was inevitable. 

No. Avis Amberg does not get sick. The sneeze that followed that thought suggested otherwize.Her body was exhausted and desperately needed rest but when her mind wasn't busy thinking about work, it was swarming with thoughts about Ellen, and their moment on the porch. 

It hurts too much to keep thinking about. Just keep working, Avis and forget about it. She couldn’t help but think about it. It was worse when Ellen was around. Ellen acting so normal hurt Avis even worse. Avis thought nobody noticed that she was self-destructing slowly, or even cared for that matter, but Ellen knew. She just didn’t know how to go about talking about it with Avis. 

“Avis we need to-” Ellen said, waking into Avis’s office, and seeing the shorter woman half-reading a script and half-sleeping.  **She doesn’t look too good.** Ellen took a moment to evaluate the woman silently. Avis’ eyes were bloodshot and the bags underneath them looking as though they could carry groceries. Her nose was a bright red- almost the color of her hair- and it was running slightly. Avis cheeks were naturally painted a deeper blush than usual, and Avis was shivering.  **Maybe this is worse than I thought. If that’s the case that means she has feelings for me and is hurting. Or it may be because you two ran all the way from the park to your sister’s house in the rain together. Stop getting ahead of yourself. Avis doesn’t have feelings for you, and you need to forget the ones you have for her.**

“Are you alright?” Ellen asked softly, even though she knew Avis was going to,lie and say yes.  **Avis please don’t. Tell me what’s bothering you.**

No, I’m not. I’m over 40 years old, questioning my sexuality, possibly in love with my best friend who i’ve kissed a couple of times, and now i’m sick! I’m not fine but I can’t let you know that. 

“I’m perfectly fine, why?” Avis lied quickly, her voice muffled slightly because of her stuffy nose.  **Damn you, Avis. Why can’t you ever let anyone in!? I just want to ~~love~~ help you. **

“Like hell you are, Avis! Don’t bullshit me. You are upset so you threw yourself into your work and stopped properly caring for yourself, causing yourself to get sick. I want to help you as your best friend but I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me!” Ellen argued. Avis was taken aback. The last time she saw Ellen this upset with her is when she and Dick were fighting her about Camille being Meg. 

“Really El, i’m fine. It’s just a little cold.” Avis told her, wiping her nose. Avis tried to stand but her fever was so high that it made her weak, causing her to plop right back down in her chair. Ellen marched over to the small woman pressing her hands to different parts of her face. 

“Avis, you are burning up. It’s more than a cold. We have to get you home. You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” Avis started to protest, but Ellen slid a finger under her chin forcing Avis to look Ellen in the eyes, silencing her. Ellen noticed the effect she was having on the woman and continued, “I’m taking you home, and to make sure you get better, I’m staying with you.” 

I want to say no so badly, but I need her. We need to talk, but who’s going to run the studio.

“Ellen-” Avis didn’t really know what she wanted to say but it didn’t matter at that point because Ellen wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

“Avis Amberg, I don’t care how much you fight me on it, I’m taking you home. The studio will be fine for a few days. Now, I’m calling Earnie to help me get you out of here.” Ellen told her as she unbuttoned the heavy blazer the short woman had on.  **She has to be burning up from this thing alone. This is not how I imagined the first time undressing her would be. Ellen!**

Be still heart. She’s just trying to take care of you. As a friend. 

Within 10 minutes, Ellen had called Earnie and he had come to get them both to her house. Ellen put all of Avis’ work things neatly into a drawer of her desk while Earnie picked up the redhead and started to carry her down to her car. 

“Earnie? Will you go home and pack me a few bags? I’ve got her from here.” Ellen asked as Ernie lowered Avis into the passenger seat. He nodded and closed the car door, jogging lightly to his car. 

“Okay, Ave. Let's get you home.” 

——————— 

**Dammit. How am I supposed to get her in the house . I don’t think this through.** Ellen thought as she parked in the Amberg driveway.  **I doubt she can walk with her fever. Okay Ellen… you’re going to have to carry her.**

Avis, muster up enough strength to walk in the house.  Avis didn’t want Ellen to have to carry her, so she opened her car door and swung her legs around to get up. 

“No no. I’m coming to get you. Just give me a moment.” Ellen told her, slipping off her heels.  **There’s no way I could do this with these on.** She set them on the floor of the car and walked around to Avis’ side. 

“Alright, I won’t be able to carry you bridal style, so, wrap your arms around my neck and I’ll pick you up that way.” Ellen instructed, pushing Avis’ skirt up her thighs just enough for Avis to have room to wrap her legs around Ellen. Her hands feel so good. They’re so soft. Avis did as she was told, burying her face in the blonde’s neck. 

**Focus Ellen. Just get her in the house. Remember the goal is to get Avis feeling better.** Ellen carried her in the house, unlocking the door with an extra key she was given years prior. She took Avis to the den and lay her on the couch, removing her skirt, leaving her only in her slip. 

“Gertie, could you get me a cold rag please?” Ellen asked as she started to remove the shorter woman’s slip. She got it up just enough to remove her corset. She tried not to stare at the ample breast exposed to her and pulled Avis’ slip back down. By that time Gertie had come back with the cold cloth. 

“Thank you. Mrs.Amberg will be needing soup for dinner please.” She informed the polite worker as she laid the cloth on Avis’ forehead.  I don’t want soup, but I can’t be picky right now. I don’t want to upset her. I don’t want her to leave me. 

“Yes, Ms.Kincaid and what should I be making you? Assuming that you will be staying with Mrs.Amberg.” 

“I’ll take soup too, if that’s not a problem.” Ellen told her, still working on getting Avis comfortable. She took the pins out of the redhead’s hair, running her fingers through the soft curls.  That feels nice. 

**I’ve always loved her hair when it’s down. It resembles her personality perfectly.**

“Okay, Avis. I’m going to go get your room ready for you and I will be back when dinner is done.” Ellen announced, clapping her hands together before turning to leave. 

“No, El,” Avis spoke up, reaching out a hand, “stay with me. Please?” Ellen looked from the sick woman back to the staircase before deciding to stay. She walked back to the couch and lifted Avis’ head to allow herself to sit down, and rested Avis’ head in her lap. 

“Better?” Ellen cooed, taking one of Avis’ hands. 

“Can you play with my hair like you were just a minute ago?” Avis asked meekly.  Please don’t say no. 

**I forgot how childlike she can be when she’s sick. It’s almost amusing.**

Ellen didn’t respond and tangled her fingers in the wild, red hair, massaging Avis’ scalp for a few seconds in between combing her long fingers through the hair. It felt like heaven for the both of them. Not long after, Avis’ eyes had closed, Ellen still playing with the shorter woman’s hair. Ellen assumed that she was asleep and Avis couldn’t hear her, so she began to speak to her. 

“You know, Avis, I really hate seeing you like this. This isn’t the Avis I - well I don’t know. I’m confused, Avis. I thought that not talking about what happened at the bar after the luncheon helped me get over whatever I was feeling for you, but seeing you in that dress… it made all those feelings come back. I’ll have you know that I was hurt for a long time after that. Avis, I fell in love with you that day, and all I’ve wanted since then was for you to love me back. I thought that having Earnie would help me forget you, but it didn’t. I just- I don’t know what to do with you. I love you, Avis.” Ellen spilled, feeling better that she had gotten all of that off of her chest.  I had no idea she felt that way. I can’t tell her how I feel though. I can’t just take her away from Earnie. He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him, and what would people think? Two women together. I just don’t think it’s the right time.  Avis kept her eyes closed and let Ellen believe she was asleep. Ellen moved the rag away from the shorter woman’s forehead, replacing it with her lips, kissing all over the surface. Avis’ heart sank when she felt Ellen’s hot tears splash on her skin. 

It’s not the right time, Avis.

————————— 

After dinner, Ellen carried Avis up the stairs, getting her ready for bed. Earnie had brought Ellen some bags before dinner so Ellen laid Avis down on the bed, leaving to go to the guest room and getting herself ready first.  God! Her body’s perfect! She’s definitely not helping this fever go away. Avis thought as Ellen strode back in the room. 

“Okay,Avis, where are your nightgowns?” Ellen asked. Avis just pointed to the bottom drawer of the dresser across the room. Ellen nodded and bent over, giving Avis the same view of her that Ellen had of Avis weeks prior. She didn’t do it on purpose but counted it as a win when she heard Avis’ breath catch in her throat. Ellen just smiled to herself and found a nice silk nightdress that looked like it would allow Avis’ body to cool off enough. 

“Do you want me to get this on you or-” Ellen didn’t get to finish her question before Avis gave a groan and raised her arms, suggesting to Ellen that she rather Ellen do it than her. 

**Lord, give me strength. Don’t do anything stupid Ellen.**

This is the only way I can get her to touch me right now. Even if it’s not particularly where I need her to touch me. 

Ellen maneuvered Avis’ slip over her head and replaced it with the nightgown, before sliding her hands down the shorter woman’s legs, taking her stockings off. They both held their breath as Ellen’s hands felt under the silk fabric for Avis’ underwear, dragging them off of the shorter woman as well. Ellen then peeled back the covers and laid the sick woman down under them. Ellen made sure Avis was all set before heading to leave.

“El, sleep with me.” Avis pleaded softy, stretching her arm out toward her.  **Avis… she’s not making this easy.** Ellen just sighed and turned off the light, a few moments later, she was climbing in the bed. 

“Hold me.” Avis muttered. Ellen took the redhead into her arms, settling into the position Avis had found themselves in at Ellen’s sister’s house. 

“Goodnight, Ave. Get some rest.”  **I love you.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: this hurts a little

No no no  _ no!  _ This can’t be happening! How could I be so stupid? I had her! I had her  _ right here _ with me, and now she’s leaving. It’s your fault Avis, you  _ told  _ her to go. I didn’t think she was going to! I thought she would’ve fought me and stayed. No, Avis, but then you lied. You can’t be upset that she’s gone. Avis’ head was spinning as she saw Ellen leave her house and get in the car with Earnie. Avis watched, her hand covering her mouth as her body was wracked with sobs. 

———-

“Ellen, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Earnie asked his blonde-haired beauty as he drove, watching a tear roll down her cheek.  **I shouldn’t be crying around him. I can never tell him what happened. I’m just going to have to suffer through it.** Ellen wiped the tear away with the back of her hand. 

“Nothing you need be concerned with.” Ellen snapped, wincing at the harshness of her tone.  **I didn’t mean for it to come off like that. I’m just upset.** She looked out of the window, not wanting to see Earnie’s face for the moment. Earnie wasn’t going to push the subject, so he just placed a hand on her upper thigh, rubbing his thumb along it. 

“Maybe when we get home… I can make you feel better.” Earnie suggested, dropping his tone seductively.  **I can’t. Not tonight. Not when my feelings are still raw.**

“Not tonight. I don’t feel it.” She told him picking up his hand with her own and dropping it away from her thigh.  **I don’t even want to be** **_touched_ ** **right now. Well, I do, but only by one person and she’s made it very clear she won’t be touching me. Ever. Not the way I want her to, at least.**

——————— 

Avis was still on the floor, new tears springing in her eyes and falling even after hours of sitting there. She thanked God her help had a few days off, she would have been humiliated if they were there.  Pick yourself up Avis. No need in crying. It’s done. Avis got up off of the floor and wiped her eyes, walking through her big, empty house.  It’s better this way. Avis repeatedly thought as she climbed the steps. She made her way to her room, preparing into take a shower and right as she walked past the bed, she saw a white nightgown hanging on the edge.  El’s nightgown. She left it.  Avis lost it. Her pride, dignity, and composure completely tossed out of the window as she clutched the fabric in her hands and sobbed to the near point of hyperventilation. 

_ Avis had woken up in an empty bed, something that wasn’t normal for that week. Ellen has spent every waking - and sleeping- hour with Avis, giving her love and nursing her back to health. They hadn’t talked about their past at all and just enjoyed being in the presence of their friend. Avis got out of the bed and saw Ellen’s nightgown hanging on the edge of the bed.  _ _ She must be in the shower.  _ _ Right as she was about to exit the room, Ellen emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed in loungewear.  _

_ “Look who’s up and moving today! That means you feel better!” Ellen celebrated, walking towards Avis and bringing her in for a hug.  _ _ She smells so good. _ **_This is the day I’ve been dreading. She’s doing fine so she won’t need me here anymore. Maybe it’s time to talk._ **

_ “I am! Thank you so much for taking care of me. I know I’m a little hard to deal with when sick-“  _

_ “- sick, drunk, sometime sober if you feel hardheaded enough-“  _

_ “-okay! I understand. I’m difficult. I’m just really grateful you stuck around for me.” Avis pulled out of the embrace slightly to look her friend in the eyes.  _ **_ I could get lost in her eyes forever.  _ **

_ “It’s really nothing, Avis, but we need to talk.” Ellen mustered up the courage to say and led the redhead back to the bed.  _

_ “Sure.”  _ _ I hope this isn’t what I think it is. _

_ “Why did you kiss me after the luncheon and at my sister’s house?”  _ _ Damnit. This is exactly what I thought it was. _ **_Ellen, you were supposed to lead up to it to not overwhelm her!_ ** _ I would love nothing more than to tell her how I feel but I can’t. Not right now and not while she’s with Earnie.  _

_ “I don’t know. I think it was just the moment. Both times I was incredibly lonely and was just looking for a little attention and affection.” Avis lied.  _ _ This hurts so much to lie to her but I can’t tell her the truth. I just can’t.  _

_ Ellen felt her whole world come crashing down around her.  _ **_She was_ ** **using** **_me? She just wanted to be paid attention to? I spend years rethinking my sexuality and she just shrugs it off like it was nothing?_ ** **NOTHING?!** _ Ellen didn’t know whether she wanted to scream or cry. She was hurting. She truly loved Avis. Why else would she have nursed her back to health? She cared. She was in love.  _

_ Avis could tell by the expression on the blonde’s face that she had just stabbed a metaphoric knife into Ellen’s heart. _ _ I don’t mean it Ellen! Please see through my bullshit. Call my bluff! Please!  _ _ When Avis realized that Ellen had believed every word she was uttering, she decided to drive the knife deeper to seal their fate.  _

_ “You thought they meant something? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come off that way. I’m not into women. I can understand if you are. It wouldn’t matter to me I just… I don’t love you like that.”  _ **_I think I’m going to be sick. I’ve gotta get out of here. This hurts too much. It’s like a knife twisting in my stomach and my heart. I can’t breathe. Walls closing in._ **

_ Avis what the hell are you doing?! You see her lot taking this well. Tell her you love her! Tell her you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Tell her you would move heaven and hell to have her wake up next to you every morning. Tell her she is the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last think you think about when you go to sleep. Tell her how badly you want to make love her her right here in this bed! _ _ Avis opened her mouth to speak but found Ellen standing in the doorway, her bags packed and ready to go.  _

_ “I’ll go call Earnie and get out of your hair. I’m glad you are feeling better and I will see you at the studio on Thursday. The color is grey.” Ellen told her, her face -and heart- complete stone.  _ **_I’m never loving again. It hurst too damn badly._ ** _ Avis kept a brave face as she watched Ellen walk out of the room and down the steps.  _ _ Why did I do that?  _ _ Avis sat in complete awe until she heard the beeping of a car horn outside.  _ _ That’s Earnie! Coming to get her! I’ve got to stop her. I’ve made a horrible mistake. I love her. _ _ Avis raced out of the room and down the steps as fast as she could.  _

_ “Ellen wait!” Avis yelled an arm-reach away from the blonde.  _

_ “Goodbye, Avis.” And with that, Ellen was out of the door.  _

I was so stupid. My one shot at happiness and I let my own head get in the way. Avis cluched the nightgown closer to her heart and sobbed harder.  _ I love her.  _

—————- 

Ellen was in the bed with Earnie, him fast asleep and she lying there awake, her mind racing. **Don’t cry. You can’t cry. Not with Earnie right there.** She looked over at the charming man and fought back tears. 

**I should have told her how I felt. What good would that have done Ellen? She said she doesn’t love you! What do you think that you could say something and her magically fall head over heels for you? Not how that works. It just hurts. It hurts so badly m. After all these years of never talking about it, never acknowledging it, I’m finally able to admit my feelings to myself and she breaks my heart. Stomps on it.** Ellen turned over on her side, facing away from Earnie and she let the tears flow. 

**I love her.**

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me. I’ve braced myself for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek

Two months. It had been two months since the two of them had last seen each other. Avis worked from the home office every day and if she and Ellen had to discuss something they did it over the phone, keeping their conversation strictly professional. 

“Avis we need you in the office tomorrow. The newspaper is coming and taking pictures of our group.” Ellen told her over their phone meeting.  I don’t think I can handle that. I’m just now starting to get over her. I don’t think I can see her and remain okay. But it is my studio so I do need to be there. Fuck. 

“I’ll be there. What’s tomorrow’s color?” Avis asked, realizing that it was Wednesday. 

“White. Avis-” Ellen wanted to talk to her before having to face her. She doubted Avis wanted to talk, seeing as Avis hadn’t been to the studio in two months just to avoid her.  **I’m over her. Completely. I think. I just… I don't want things to be awkward.**

“Ellen, I promise things won’t be awkward. I won’t talk about or bring anything up that doesn’t need to be said. What happened between us is our business and nobody else’s.” Avis assured her, knowing what she wanted by the tone of her voice. 

“You are absolutely correct. I will see you tomorrow.” Ellen hung up the phone before Avis could say anything.  **That went better than I thought.**

Great. I have to go buy an outfit because I don’t have anything solid white.  Avis grumbled lowly to herself and went upstairs to change into proper clothes. Avis hadn’t left the house in the time she was working in the office. She didn’t have a need or want to. The only places Avis had been were her bedroom, office, and dining room. She hadn’t even bothered to go outside in her garden. 

After an hour of getting ready, Avis left the house. She stepped outside and took a deep breath, almost choking on the fresh air. When she got in her car, she saw a pair of heels on the floor of the driver's seat.  Those must be Ellen’s.  She picked them up and inspected them closely.  They are. How did they get in here? Avis climbed in the car, closing the door and sitting the shoes on the seat. She looked over her shoulder and saw one of her blazers laid back there.  I was sick… and she drove me home. She… carried me in the house.  Avis’ head began to spin. Her memory of Ellen taking off her blazer in the office, worried that it was going to make her fever worse, of Ellen carrying her in the house, of Ellen feeding her soup, and everything else came back to her after two months of trying to suppress them. Avis didn’t feel herself crying until she felt the teardrops splash on her chest.  I can’t do this anymore.  She started the car, speeding down the street. 

———— 

“Mrs.Amberg, nice to see you ba-” one of the many interns greeted as Avis approached the front desk in the lobby of the studio.  I’ve got to find her. 

“Where’s Kincaid?” She asked in a low and rushed tone. 

“In her office ma’am,” the intern answered. Avis darted towards the elevator only feeling bad about how she treated the intern for a split second before her mind snapped back to Ellen. When she made it upstairs, she sped to the blonde’s office. She didn’t realize how fast she was moving until she halted in front of Ellen’s office door, and had to catch her breath. She pounded on the door, her knocking mimicking her heart. 

“ _ Come in!”  _ She heard from the other side and barged in the doors, shutting them behind her, careful not to slam them.  **What is she doing here?! Ellen this is her studio, she can be here whenever she damn well pleases. Well, why is she here in my office?! She looks upset.**

“Avis?” Was all Ellen could say. She was stunned.  I don’t know how to start this conversation. I just know how I want it to end.  Avis gave a slight smile while wringing her hands. 

“What are you doing here?” Ellen asked as the redhead in front of her remained silent.  Words. Say words damnit! You usually can’t shut the fuck up and NOW you’re speechless? Avis stood still, sweat forming a thin layer over her skin, a heat pooling between her thighs as it did every time she laid eyes on Ellen, a crack forming in her heart as she was reminded of everything her and Ellen’s relationship had been through.  All these damned emotions.  **Is she going to say anything?**

“Avis?” Ellen shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“Fuck this,” Avis answered storming over to Ellen, and before the both of them knew it, their lips were pressed together.  **I don’t know what’s going on but I love it.** Months of being bitter and broken-hearted had been thrown out of Ellen’s mind as soon as Avis’ lips were on hers. Deep down, she knew she was still in love with Avis and she let her emotions rise up and bubble over into their kiss. Avis’ hands settled on Ellen’s face as Ellen’s hands settled on the swell of her hips. Avis licked Ellen’s bottom lip asking for entrance and Ellen parted her lips allowing Avis’ tongue to slide through. A shudder ran down Avis’ spine as Ellen moaned into her mouth.  I’ve waited so long for this. Ellen stood, never breaking their kiss, and pulled Avis’ body flush to hers. The two of them wanted nothing more than to keep kissing each other into oblivion but their lungs were burning, so they had to pull away. 

“Ellen, I lied and I’m sorry.” Avis blurted out through sobs, resting her forehead on Ellen’s shoulder. Ellen hugged her tighter, afraid that if she let go, Avis was going to dart out of the door.  **I think I’d actually die then. That would be too much for my heart to take.**

“Explain,” Ellen ordered gently. She was still holding onto Avis, but she sat back down in her desk chair, shifting a still-crying Avis so she could sit on the blonde’s lap. 

“I lied to you. I told you that our past kisses didn’t mean anything. I told you that I didn’t love you, and that was a lie.”  **Heart don’t give up on me now. Am I hearing her correctly? Wait a minute… this is a dream. It’s not the first one. I’ll wake up soon and I’ll be back in the bed with Earnie.**

“I’m sorry.” Avis’ sob pulled Ellen out of her thoughts. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why are you telling me now?” Ellen asked.  **I have so many more questions but I know from experience that if you overwhelm Avis Amberg duck and cover.**

“You’re with Earnie. You’re about the last happiness he has left. I couldn’t possibly take you from him.” Avis answered, not really wanting to discuss  _ why  _ she was telling her  _ now.  _ Maybe if I don’t answer she’ll forget the question because it is rather embarrassing. 

“Avis, you kissed me  _ before  _ I got with Earnie.” Ellen reminded. 

“ _ I  _ was still with Ace.” Avis tried to stand up to get a cloth from her purse but Ellen held her tighter.  **I’ll be damned if I let her leave now!**

“Hell no! There is no way I’m letting you leave when we are finally talking about this after all these years.” Ellen explained, maintaining the hold she had on the shorter woman. Avis pressed another kiss to the blonde’s lips, but pulled away quickly, knowing how carried away they could get. 

“I’m not leaving. I just wanted to get a cloth from my purse.” Avis told her, gesturing to her face. Ellen took one hand off of Avis to reach in her own purse on the desk next to them and pull out a cloth, wiping Avis’ tears for her. 

“You still didn’t tell me why you’re here now.” Ellen pushed, wiping away the remaining lipstick on Avis’ lips.  I should have known. El has the memory of an elephant! She remembers everything!

“That’s rather embarrassing. Can-” The words on Avis’ lips had paused when the blonde gently cradled her face.

“Who’s judging you?” Ellen asked gently. Avis wanted to kiss her again but decided against it. 

“I saw your shoes in my car, and it reminded me of the week we spent together… the week you put your life on hold to take care of me. I hauled ass to the studio. I had to see you and apologize. El I’m so sorry. I- I- I  _ love  _ you.”  **I cannot believe she just said that.**

“Oh, Avis, I love you too,” Ellen told her before connecting their lips again.  Oh to be kissed by Ellen Kincaid. Best. Feeling. In. The. World. 

Much as with their first kiss that day, they got a little carried away. Avis was the first one to make another move, bringing her hand up behind Ellen and trying to tug down the zipper of the blonde’s dress. 

“ _ El, I want you,” _ Avis whispered against her lips.  **This really is heaven, but the** **_last_ ** **place I want to have Avis is in my office.**

“Ave, not here,” Ellen muttered as Avis moved her kisses to the blonde’s neck.  Why not? Well, her couch really isn’t as comfortable as mine is. Maybe we should go to  _ my  _ office. 

“You’re right,” Avis said jumping up from Ellen’s lap and pulling her up, “let’s go to my office.” She tried to tug the blonde with her but Ellen didn’t move.  **I’ve seen a horny Avis before but not like this.** Why the hell is she not moving?! 

“No, Avis, not there either.”  What?! Frustration. 

“Where the hell do you want then Ellen? The middle of the lot?”  **She’s so adorable when she’s like this.** Ellen thought as she zipped her dress back up, resisting a laugh. 

“How about we go to one of our houses? Much more comfortable, don’t you think?” Ellen suggested, caressing Avis’ sides while drawing her closer. Avis became visibly weak at the knees under Ellen’s touch and gaze.  It’s going to take every ounce of strength in me to not completely ravish her in the car. 

“Uh-huh.” Avis nodded completely dazed.  **This time of day… Earnie is still home. We’ll go to her house.**

————— 

“Why are we going to my house?” Avis asked as they pulled in her driveway. 

“Earnie is home this time of day,” Ellen answered, turning off the car and hopping out, Avis climbing out as well.  I forgot about Earnie! 

“Wait El…” Avis said following her into the house. Ellen was already halfway up the stairs, Avis hot on her heels. They made it to the bedroom in under a minute, Ellen removing her hat and shoes as soon as she stepped foot in the room. 

“Ellen  _ wait _ ,” Avis pleaded.  **Why!?**

“What’s the matter?” Ellen asked, slowly walking over to the redhead. 

“I forgot about Earnie. El, we can’t do this to him. It wouldn’t feel right.” Avis told her, beginning to pace.  **Oh hell!**

“Avis,” Ellen whined, “ _ fuck  _ Earnie!” 

“I have!” Avis answered too quickly to stop herself. Ellen has to stop and laugh at that, even though she knew Avis wasn’t trying to be funny.

“It’s not funny, El! This is serious! I want nothing more than to make sweet love to you on that bed right now, but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it because I would feel guilty.” Avis explained her pacing becoming faster. 

“Ave, don’t get yourself all worked up,” Ellen told her, stepping in front of the redhead mid-pace, “we don’t have to do anything right now. I’ll talk to Earnie and break things off.” 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Avis apologized leaning in for a kiss. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Ellen told her before pressing her lips to the shorter woman’s. 

“Well, I was going out to get a new white outfit for tomorrow. Come with me?” Avis asked tracing the flower pattern on Ellen’s dress out with her fingers. 

“Sure. Maybe I can get one that coordinates with yours.” Ellen teased. 

“Absolutely not! That’s what got us in this mess in the first place.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all really thought... i said SLOW burn and I meant it... don't hate me pls.


	8. Chapter 8

Temptation. Avis was normally a strong-willed woman and did not give in to temptation easily, but the way Ellen was staring at her across the table of the board room made want course through her veins. She could feel her willpower slipping and struggled through the meeting, trying to avoid Ellen’s gaze. Every time she would glance over at the blonde and met her blue eyes, a familiar heat pooled between her thighs and she could feel a blush creeping up her neck.  She’s so fucking sexy. Does she know what she does to me? **You’ve got her, Ellen! You may be an old bat, but you sure know how to turn on the charm when you need to.** The thought made Ellen grin and Avis looked in her direction just as Ellen did. Avis’ insides turned to mush, and she let out a sigh, going unnoticed by the group of actors and producers at the table. She bit her bottom lip, trying to bite back a moan.  I don’t understand how I can get so worked up over her just looking at me. I guess this is how it feels to be dangerously in love. 

“I think that we should try and - Avis, Ellen, could you two stop eye-fucking each other? Seriously, get a room,” Henry interrupted his own sentence, causing everyone to turn and look between the two women. 

“Shut the fuck up, Henry,” Avis snapped, “we’re not  _ eye-fucking  _ each other, you dickhead. Just continue with the meeting. Ellen, I need to speak to you in the hall.” Ellen just nodded, standing up along with the redhead and exiting the room. As soon as Ellen closes the door behind her, Avis pulls her into a heated kiss.  I can’t help it.  **Not what I was expecting, but I’m all for it.**

“Avis, what did you want to talk about?” Ellen mumbled against her lips. 

“You’ve gotta stop looking at me like you do. It- it  _ does  _ something to me and it makes me want to fuck you senseless right there on the table.” Avis squeezed the taller woman’s shoulders, shaking her slightly.    
  


“Then why don’t you?” Ellen growled playfully, pulling the redhead closer, making Avis’ eyes flutter shut in pure bliss. 

“Because  _ you  _ are still with-” 

“El? Avis?” A familiar voice questioned from the end of the hall. Their eyes went wide and turned to see the sly-fox at the end of the hall. 

“Earnie!”  Shit. 

__________ 

“I’m so sorry Earnie. I never meant for this to happen,” Avis apologized after Ellen had gone through with explaining their history to Earnie. He looked mortified, the color drained from his face. 

“Earnie, I’m sorry,” Ellen apologized as well. She truly felt awful, but she felt she deserved to be with Avis after all those years of pining after her.  **I’m happy.** **_Completely_ ** **happy with Avis.**

“I- I’m- I- I have to go. I’ll see you all around. I- I just need some air.” Earnie turned away from the couple, speed-walking down the hall. 

“El, darling, are you alright,” Avis asked bringing her hands up to cup the blonde’s face. She could see the tears in Ellen’s eyes.  Avis, you know first hand how it feels to have someone come between you and your significant other. Now  _ you  _ are the homewrecker. How could you do this? 

“I’m fine, Ave. I’m just glad we got it over with. I didn’t think that it was going to happen in that manner, but it’s done. We can be happy together now.” Ellen answered, wiping her eyes.  I feel terrible. 

“Ellen, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this. I should’ve just kept my feelings to myself.i- I just tore you two apart! I know how that feels and I- I shouldn’t have come between you two,” Avis said, guilt and doubt settling in her chest as if she swallowed a cinderblock. She backed away from Ellen, down the hall in the direction Earnie went.  I have to go find him.  **I don’t understand.**

“Avis, wait. Don’t leave,” Ellen followed after the shorter woman until she was back in Ellen’s arms, “I wasn’t truly happy with Earnie! I love  _ you.  _ I’m happy with  _ you.  _ Earnie is a great man, but I don’t want him. I want  _ you.  _ I just feel bad for hurting him, but I’ll get over it.” Ellen explained, wiping Avis’ eyes before her tears could fall.  How can I say no to her? How can I say no to those eyes, and lips, and these  _ arms _ ? Avis’ guilt was replaced by want almost immediately. She nodded quickly, melting into Ellen’s embrace and kissing her again. 

“Ms.Amberg, Ms.Kindaid, I hate to break you two up, but we need you all in the meeting,” Archie told them, poking his head out of the conference room, a wide smile plastered on his face.  **All these damn distractions!** They pulled apart, wiping at their lips and walking back into the room as Archie held the door for them. 

“Told you all you’d make a pretty great couple,” Archie whispered to them, flashing his smile and giving them a knowing wink. 

_________ 

“Ellen, come to my house tonight,” Avis demanded walking into the blonde’s office.  She’s free from Earnie and I’m horny. I need her.  _ Tonight,  _

“Sure, what should I be expecting when I come. Just so I know how to dress,” Ellen teased. She knew exactly why Avis was inviting her over, but she loved to see Avis sweat.  **I love it when she’s all flustered. It makes her even more attractive if that’s even possible.** Two can play at this game. Avis stalked over to her, turning her chair and pressing their lips together. Avis slid her tongue gracefully between Ellen’s lips. Ellen’s hands flew to the redhead’s waist in an attempt to pull her down into Ellen’s lap. Avis smirked into the kiss before pulling away. 

  
“Expect nothing but complete  _ satisfaction, _ ” and with that, Avis sauntered out of the room, leaving Ellen flustered.


	9. Chapter 9

Complete satisfaction. Ellen’s whole body was pulsing with lust, want coursing through her veins. She  _ needed  _ Avis and  _ badly _ . Her mind swarmed with thoughts of the many things she would do to Avis as she packed an overnight bag. She stopped packing when Earnie came into the room and stood beside her. She still felt bad for hurting him. 

“Earnie-” Ellen started though she didn’t know what she wanted to say. She felt like she needed to apologize again, but someone wise told her a long time ago that you should never apologize for putting your happiness and wellbeing first. 

“It’s alright, kid. She’s a wonderful woman and I’m glad you’re happy,” Earnie told her, helping her put some of the items sprawled out on the bed in her bag, “Just remember, she likes her thighs rubbed, and the sweet spot on her neck is right above her collarbone on the left side. She has a lot of scars, kiss them, it makes her feel loved. She’s not a big fan of having her breast played with, and whatever you do, don’t smack her ass. You can grab it, kneed it, but don’t smack it. She loves skin-to-skin and the biggest thing- eye contact. It drives her mad” He hands her the bag, giving her a small smile. Ellen was shocked that he was taking the situation so well, but she had to laugh at all of the advice he was willingly giving her about Avis.  **I guess he’s going to be just fine. Time to get to Avis.**

“Thank you, Earnie. I’ll be sure to keep all of those things in mind,” Ellen said giving him a soft pat on the face before turning to leave, feeling better. 

“Go knock her dead, kid!” He yelled after her, flashing a bright smile before coughing. 

-p- 

Okay, Avis, you’ve never done this before, but it can’t be much different than having sex with a man. What if it is? What if I mess up and do the wrong thing? What if I can’t satisfy her? No, don’t chicken out now. You can do this.  Avis looked at herself in the full-length mirror, clad in nothing but her bustier, underwear, and stockings. She let her hair down, her fiery red curls falling around her shoulders.  I hope she likes this.  Avis heard the doorbell ring and slipped on a robe, though she left it open. When she got downstairs, she took a deep breath before opening the door. 

“Avis, you look delicious,’ Ellen greeted, a lustful gleam in her eyes as she took in the sight before her.  **She’s going to be the death of me.** I’ve waited so long to hear someone say that who I knew meant it! I could cry. No, Avis, no crying. Avis smiled naughtily and beckoned her into the house with a crooked finger. Ellen stepped through the door, immediately taking the shorter woman into her arms as she shut it behind them with her foot. Avis pressed their lips together, melting immediately within Ellen’s embrace. Before things got too heated, Avis ran a hand along Ellen’s arm, finding her hand and prying it from her body, stepping back and breaking the kiss. Ellen groaned at the loss, but Avis just pulled her hand slightly, non-verbally instructing Ellen to follow her through the house. 

I’m nervous but I think I’m ready... I just hope I can do this.  They get up the stairs, Avis taking her time on each step while Ellen is eagerly racing up them. 

“Slow down, El,” Avis told her when she reached the blonde at the top. She wrapped an arm around the taller woman, planting a kiss at her collarbone and licking a trail up to her ear, nibbling at the lobe before whispering, “We have  _ all night _ ,”  **Sweet Jesus. I can see it now on my headstone : Death by Avis Amberg.** Avis sauntered off towards the bedroom, leaving Ellen stunned for a moment before she sped after her. Once in the room Ellen wasted no time removing her shoes and hat, most like the last time. Instead of stopping her this time, Avis aided in taking off her heavy blazer, running her hands along the curves of the blonde, trying not to drool. Ellen crashed her lips into Avis’, swiping her tongue across the bottom lip, causing Avis to part them, allowing Ellen to slip between them. Ellen brought her hands to Avis’ shoulders, pushing the open robe down the redhead’s arms. Avis broke contact to let her robe fall, and yanked Ellen’s skirt down to pool at her feet. Avis kisses her again, walking her backwards towards the bed. Avis bunched Ellen’s slip up in her hands, sliding it over her torso and chest. Ellen lifted her arms, allowing Avis to take it off of her completely.  She’s always had such a great body. Breathtaking.  Ellen, out of sheer habit, crossed her arms over her torso, Avis taking them away and pinned them on the bed beside her head. 

“You’re so beautiful, El,” she murmured, kissing down her front. Leaving little bites here and there, making the blonde shiver beneath her. Avis sunk down to her knees, pulling the stockings down Ellen’s legs and kissing the newly revealed skin. Ellen let out a shuddering sigh, her body pulsing with need.  **Patience Ellen.** Avis stood up slowly unhooking her bustier and unsnapping her garters, a big smile plastered on her lips and her eyes sparkled, igniting flames in Ellen.  **Oh so she wants to put on a show? She’s such a tease.**

She’s damn near  _ drooling _ ! You’ve still got it Avis! Just make her wait a little longer while your figure out what to do. 

“Like what you see, El?” The redhead asked, dropping her bustier to expose her ample breast, Ellen’s eyes growing wide, her mind and insides turning into mush.  **Fuck this I can’t wait anymore.** Ellen grabbed her hips, standing up from the bed and placing the shorter woman where she had been. She attached her lips to the creamy skin of Avis’s neck, her eyes rolling back at the sound of Avis’ slight moans.  **Sweet spot: left side above collarbone.** Ellen remembered, so she kissed around the area before Avis inhaled sharply, signaling to Ellen that she had found it. She sucked on the spot, Avis removing the pins from the blonde hair, and tangling her fingers in it.  **She likes her thighs rubbed.** Ellen drug her hands down Avis’ sides, settling at her thighs and rubbing the surface of them, Avis’ moans becoming louder. Ellen detached her lips to kiss down Avis’ body as the shorter woman had done to her, stopping and paying special attention to each of the redhead’s scars.  **It makes her feel loved.** How does she know all the right things to do?! She’s so perfect. I’ve got to have her  _ now.  _ Avis pulled the taller woman on top of her before flipping them over.

“Ave,” Ellen moaned as Avis teasingly trailed her fingers between the blonde’s thighs. She tugged the underwear down the long, toned legs, her eyes never leaving the place where Ellen’s legs met.  Now  _ I’m  _ the one drooling! I don’t know what to do now! I can’t just back out. Not now! Okay,Avis, think… she has exactly what you have. Think… oh! Okay, I’ll touch her, maybe like I do myself.  Avis gulped, reaching a shaky hand out and sliding her index finger along the blonde’s slit, surprised at how wet she was. Ellen moaned, biting her lip and clutching the blanket underneath her. 

“Did I do this?” Avis asked slyly, faking confidence, repeating the action and applying pressure, making Ellen’s hips buck up against her hand. Avis decided to get brave and slowly push a finger inside. 

“Oh  _ shit  _ Avis… _ please _ .” Ellen begged.  **Is she teasing me or does she not know what to do?** Avis added another finger and began to pump them in and out, Ellen’s moans becoming cries and pleads.  She seemes to be enjoying this, but I’m still not sure. Avis sat up, not stopping her administrations, and pulled Ellen up with her. 

“El?” She asked the blonde, who was so delirious with pleasure, she couldn’t completely focus. 

“Yes, Ave?  _ Mnnhnn- Avis.”  _ **How can she expect me to talk right now? She looks worried.**

“El, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never done this before.” Avis admitted, still pumping her fingers because  at least it’s  _ something _ . 

“You’re doing perfect, Ave,” Ellen told her, bringing their lips together, “you’re so perfect… right  _ there _ … oh Avis...” Avis could feel Ellen’s walls clenching around her fingers, knowing she was close to finishing. Feeling a surge of confidence she kissed Ellen again before slinking back down the blonde’s body with where her fingers were bringing Ellen closer to her climax.  I’m gonna try doing what Jack did that one time. Avis kept the motion of her fingers but used her over hand to find Ellen’s clit, rubbing it in small circles before taking it between her lips. 

“ _ HOLY SHIT!”  _ Ellen screamed, orgasming violently. Her hands flew to Avis’ head, diving her fingers into the red sea of curls that sat at her shoulders. Avis nipped and sucked at the bundle of nerves, her fingers still not stopping, as Ellen climaxed again, not able to fully recover from the first time.  **This is all too much. I can’t take it. Who knew Avis would be so good with her mouth?** Ellen was on the verge of cuming again, before she finally pushed Avis’ head away, closing her thighs.  Did I do something wrong? Avis stopped her movements, sitting up, about to ask what happened when Ellen smashed her lips to Avis’ practically yanking the poor woman’s underwear off of her. Avis was too caught up to care. Ellen turned the redhead around to sit between her thighs. Ellen quickly undid her bra, tossing the last piece of clothing on the floor and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman in front of her.  Skin to skin contact. My favorite. Avis leaned back, letting the blonde have full control.  _ Pure bliss _ .

-p- 

Sweat dripping everywhere, and the two women’s bodies entangled, strewn out over the sheets is how they ended up.  Mind blowing.  **I don’t know how I lasted this long without Avis.**

“That was…” Avis started.

“Wow.” Ellen finished. Avis looked up at the blonde, kissing the skin right above her breasts and to her neck. Her hands still caressing the taller woman’s sides. 

“Yeah. Who would’ve thought that Ellen Kincaid could be so naughty?” Avis taunted, tickling her sides gently, making Ellen giggle beneath her.  She’s so beautiful.  Then Avis’ heart stopped for a moment, and time stood still as her big brown eyes clashed with the blue pools of Ellen’s.  I’m so in love.

“El, I love you.” Avis told her, smiling softly. It made Ellen’s heart swell. 

“I love you too, Ave. Now what do you say, we go get cleaned up, and go out for some dinner?” Ellen suggested, pecking at Avis’ lips. 

“But I’ve already had dessert!” Avis commented, bringing one of her hands back between Ellen’s thighs. 

“My  _ God… _ ” Ellen moaned, having a feeling they weren’t going to truly be done anytime soon. 

“Most people call me Avis.” Avis kissed her again before sliding back down Ellen’s body. 

“ _ Avis…”  _

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Y’all know the drill tell me how you feel 💕


End file.
